gianna

dedicated to marcia and sihaam

2007-04-10T04:20:39Z

because you're awesome. and u commented on my post last time lol. i haven't much to say. well thats not completely true. i have a lot i could say but dont want to say right now. somethings frustrate the crap out of me, but i can't do anything about them. and some things are just way too confusing to put into words. so for today i'll just tell u about.....how easy it is to forget how blessed i am. funny how easy it is to spend enough money to sponser 3 or 4 kids for a month in like an hour at the mall. funny how reality is so masked by consumerism. i guess its not really funny. i dont really know why people use that expression...if its an expression at all. o well its not really a big deal. but as i was saying. i dont have a very good handle on money...its more like oh i have that much, i can buy it. when it should be like, i shouldn't spend that much...especially on that. or that often. i'm proud to say i have been restraining my shopping habits and i have improved slightly on the mass spending thing. i avoid the mall usually...its a dangerous place. and i'm trying to stop buying things...even though they're not expensive, just cuz they're not expensive and i might like them for a few days lol. dvds was a big thing lol. i used to buy so many, but now i'm starting to realize that its really not worth it. cuz most of them i haven't watched more than once since i got them. and i usually dont even want to watch them again lol. so ya...now i'll only get it if its really good. except for a few weeks ago when i bought the transporter...although that is a good movie..its not like my favorite movie in the world. like....PETER PAN! lol. haha even when i bought that one on dvd i didn't watch it for the first week and a half i had it. maybe i'm hopeless...someday i'll know. well thats all i think.

giaany @ 2007-03-29T21:32:00

2007-03-30T02:43:29Z

its a surprise cuz i haven't posted on here for an eon. or two. anyway i'm in the mood for some posting today. basically i'm in the sort of questioning mood that makes me want to write things down. the future is scary. and the present is kinda scary too. like...is what i'm doing now what i'm supposed to be doing? my boss has been talking to me a lot lately about setting goals and things like that. 2 problems. 1. i can't think of any goals that i think i can achieve cuz i have fairly low confidence in myself. 2. how can i set long term goals when i dont know if i want to do this? hmmm. and there's so much talk of being successful and achieving goals...but they all sound so material. to be honest, i dont want to be a big time hairstylist raking in the big bucks...one, because i dont feel comfortable charging buttloads of money for things. and two because i just dont want the rich life. sounds kinda weird i guess, but its true. i just want to get married, help provide for the family, make a fair enough living that i can do that and help others too. and i dont want my life to be all about my job like so many "successful" peoples is. i want to have time for my family and to be involved in church...and just simple things like that. but i guess no one is forcing me to place super high goals. i can just set my goals to achieve these simple things. sigh. i'm glad God at least knows whats good for me.

Backwards

2007-02-07T22:05:30Z

the best thing ever

Brendan Leonard Show

2007-02-07T21:14:23Z

i love it more than lots of things

giaany @ 2006-06-17T11:01:00

2006-06-17T15:04:04Z

how come every time its nice enough to go to the beach i'm working!? or just busy. like today...when my friends are going...but i can't go cuz my aunt and uncle from calgary are coming over...which is really cool. but it means i can't go to the beach lol...and if they weren't coming...i'd have to work anyway. see? always working!
and tomorrow its calling for thunder storms. of course. and next weekend i'm working all weekend. ok. im done ranting now. hopefully that will help me not be so frustrated

giaany @ 2006-05-02T12:59:00

2006-05-02T17:07:37Z

wow, i miss the old days when i used to journal on here just telling all the random things about my days....they were so exciting back then. now its just work and school all the time lol. but hey...there's always perks...like my boss' daughter's imaginary friend named mario. watching her play tag with mario is....well hilarious. i love it. but ya...work isn't too bad actually. i have a good life, i shouldn't complain. today i didn't go to school cuz my teacher wasn't there. yay for me! i got to sleep in, which i really needed cuz i was up til like 1 talking to kaylee last night, its good to have her back in town. ahhh i'm so excited, my cousin isn't going back to calgary for the whole summer! he went back for two weeks to hang out with his family and such, but then he's gonna come back and work with his uncle. i'm pretty darn excited about that. i hardly got to hang out with him at all this year during the school year, cuz he was so busy. but now...there's the whole summer. yay. i'm going to pei this summer i'm so excited! yay! so basically...of the people who livejournal. i haven't seen any of you in a really long time and that makes me sad. :(.

dear amanda
i hope you are well
love gianna

dear lauren
love gianna

i think you were both there for that....but it was a long time ago so i can't be sure. i appologize if one of you doesn't get it. <3

giaany @ 2006-02-05T23:07:00

2006-02-06T04:07:26Z

i get depressed everytime i think about it. but what if its just a phase? then i would be giving up everything that i've been given on a passing phase and i'll be just as stuck as i was before..if not more. but...what if God's calling me to give it all up? thats a sacrifce i'm willing to give. but what if i just think that cuz i dont want to do it? its not like i've been willing to give anything else up. i'm so confused. so depressed. i can't keep living like this. everything is meaningless. a chase after the wind.

giaany @ 2005-12-20T15:46:00

2005-12-20T20:47:29Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last week I pushed mibbles in the mud (-17 points). Last Friday I ruled Iran as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Wednesday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole caecae's purse (30 points). Last Thursday I stole aristides_gen's purse (-30 points). In May spirit_bomb and I robbed a bank (-50 points).

Overall, I've been nice (633 points). For Christmas I deserve a new bike!

Sincerely,
giaany

sorry about that steve and the bank

giaany @ 2005-11-07T19:53:00

2005-11-08T00:54:22Z

seems as though i dont really ahve aneed for this thing anymore...although i might continue to update with it.....for a few people's sakes...not right now though...i'd rather just talk to them about it haha. God bless u all

giaany @ 2005-10-08T10:59:00

2005-10-08T15:04:35Z

Its very possible, if not probable...that most of you do not read my journal when a song is posted. but that is ok. Who am I to tell you what you should and should not read?! So, therefore, today I'm going to post a song. Its a song I really like, by John Mayer...who I so happen to really like. Except for his song "Your Body is a Wonderland". However, it remains completely up to you if you decide to continue and read through the song or if you just skip over it. I really couldn't care less haha. But if you do feel like reading it...its a good song...unfortunately it sounds much better with the music and John Mayer's awesome voice...but hey...I do what I can. So if you want, you can make up some snazzy tune for it or something...feel free to sing it for me next time I see you. That would be fantastic! anyways..here's the song

I'm writing you to
catch you up on places I've been
You held this letter
probably got excited,
but there's nothing else inside it

didn't have a camera
by my side this time
hopping I would see
the world with both my eyes
maybe I will tell
you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way
with words

Today skies are painted
colors of a cowboy's cliche'
And strange how clouds
that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway

Didn't have a camera
by my side this time
Hoping I would see the
world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you
all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way
but let me say

You should have seen
that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me
next time I go outside
just no more 3x5's

Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me

Today I finally overcame
tryin' to fit the
world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all
about it when
I'm in the mood to
lose my way but let me say

You should have seen that
sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
You'll be with me
next time I go outside
just no more 3x5's
no more 3x5's

so there you have it :D

heyo

2005-09-16T14:04:03Z

i just burnt my waffles...thats sucky...i hate it when that happens. oh well i guess eh? woot they still taste good. so i had my first day of co-op yesterday. i love that salon...everyone is so nice there. i just kinda stood and watched for 3 1/2 hours. i was surprised at how fast the time went. today i have to be there for 4 hours...and i hope they give me some things to do sometimes just so i wont have to stand there in pretty much one spot the whole time. plus also i have to start thinknig of questions to ask. cuz then i'll probably learn more. i've never been very good at thinking of questions. and usually if i have them i hesitate asking them and then they get answered anyway. so then it justlooks like i am really quiet. although..john house's wife nancy was there yesterday, i like her a lot. i was talking to her for a while. but sometimes i dont know whether to talk or just watch, cuz often when i talk i look at the person and not what elie is doing. obviously if i was doing their hair, i would look at what i am doing...but u know how it is. probably haha. today was only one hour of school...so i didn't go. woot. yay for sleeping in! hmm...in other news...for those of u who don't know...kyle and i are dating now..:D. yay! i rather like that guy. (note underexagguration). :D. thats all i have to say about that. right now at least..i'm sure you'll hear more later. whether u want to or not. muahahhaha. anyways, i'm going to see les miserables on saturday with noelle and trevor. i am sooooo excited. which reminds me, i need to talk to them. so i should probably call them back today. so ya...thats all for todya. have a nice life! God bless

giaany @ 2005-09-06T10:38:00

2005-09-06T14:44:54Z

well..today was the first day of school! haha...easiest thing of my life. went, sat for an hour listening to mrs. jones say the same thing she said last year....then left..at like 10:15ish. swicked! so ya..its 1040 and i'm home hurray! i need to stop at hillpark today to pick up my report card and my photography portfolio that i was supposed to get on exam review day at the end of last year...but...i slept through the exam review times...so..i have to get it today instead. no biggy. i get to see angela again! haha! i saw her yesterday! i also have to stop by the salon i'm co-oping at...but that shouldn't take long either. i went to the pineries with caitlin this past weekendish. we left on thursday, got home on monday. it was mucho fun. her brother-in-law calls me the new guy. all the time. i'm not a boy. oh well. i laughed. um...her sister's boyfriend laughs funny. it makes me laugh every time! um...i got sunburned. but i'm still alive..thankfully. kyle, bethany, steve, and evan came up to visit us on sunday. that was a good day. um....my mom wants me to sort outmy laundry. so i guess i should do that now. its not like i had anything else to say on here right now anyway. bye!

updated

2005-08-22T12:58:55Z

well i finally have dealt with that dilema of mine. probably not in the most courageous of ways...but at least its dealt with. so far it seems ok...but i guess we'll see. i have my doubts about the genuineness of the ok. so we'll see. i'm pretty tierd. but i have to babysit in like..half an hour so i can't stay sleeping. i have a busy week ahead of me. it involves several phone calls today, i dont like making phone calls. but i have to so i guess i will. i'll do that after babysiting. cuz i dont feel like doing it now. plus its still kinda early. thats just an excuse though. most of the people i need to call would be up by now. soya...thats my life today. well not all of it...i dont really feel like writing the other part here...so i'll just leave it. :D. the end!

giaany @ 2005-08-12T11:30:00

2005-08-12T15:39:42Z

so i was doing my morning devotions today...and i was listening and worshiping along to some third day...and this one song just really spoke to me..and hit me close to home. its powerful. its musically fairly simple, but very nice to listen to. and the lyrics...wow, they're wonderful..

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times had he broken that promise
It has never been done
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of Calvary

Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away

I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
But all those dreams are empty motion
It has never been done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

I know that you don't understand the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
But I promise, I would do it all again

Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away

that's Love Song by third day....its sung from Jesus' perspective...and its so powerful. cuz its so true, Jesus loves us so much He did everything for us....Greater love has no man than this, that one lay done his life for his friends. john 15:13.

whoa an update! weird ever!

2005-08-11T02:45:23Z

well hey. nice to see you again. cept i can't see anyone but my own picture in the top right hand corner of this page. hmm...i can't say i'm overly glad to see myself. i see myself all the time. but ya...this is an update. um..my life is generally good with an underlying bad. i got myself into a small dilema. and i'm not really sure what to do. or i do know what to do i just don't want to do it. so that's pretty sucky. um...i dont yet have a stead job. i might be getting one..i'm hoping and praying...but i suppose we'll see. God might have something else in mind. um...i went to bethanys today. that was fun. cept i wasn't feeling well by the end. and was also feeling out of it. and pondering my picklish situation yet again. so i left early..so as not to be a party pooper cuz i didn't feel like playing any of the games. so then i came online hoping to resolve my issue...but that was not to be. so i decided to update here. i feel like i have a lot more to say, but i can't think of anything. i keep forgetting to reschedule my driving lesson. i should do that tomorrow.

random favored song quote:
"You make me drop things, like all the plans i had for a life without you"

a verse i love. and that i just thought of. and it always comforts me.

"Be at rest once more O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you"

its so true. i've been so blessed. i need to start focusing on that instead of all the things that are pushing me down. i need to focus on God's amazing love and forgiveness...and that He understands me and still wants to have a relationship with me. that is truly amazing. and i still always forget. well i think thats all for today. thank you for your time

We're Passionate about Hiring Great People!

2005-07-29T02:46:46Z

so. once i had a spotted camel of doom. it died.

my creative genius is very limited this evening. i think my brain went to sleep like an hour ago. i choose such oppertune times to update.

i'm starting drivers ed in car lessons next week. i'm kinda scared. but i guess thats normal. i practiced driving today, it went pretty well. my dad took me out to tims after to talk about my future. i very rarely go out places with just my dad, but i quite enjoyed it. woot! hurray.

(shout out to all my peeps! You know who you are! sincerly trevOr)

thats all folks. !

the day after yesterday

2005-07-04T14:37:22Z

so i got home from camping yesterday all sunburned and tired. good times with ryan, kyle, caitlin, steve harris and boda, noelle, trevor, bethany and kaylee! i really had no desire to go home, even though the last day i did absolutely nothing but walk around in the water, lie in the sun, and laugh at what the boys were doing....oh ya and go to the bathroom every five seconds lol. the first day of camping was mucho exciting. we unpacked and all that jazz, then went to the beach. i love the beach! i made a killer sandcastle and the guys helped me with the moat and other various things. it was swicked, it even had a bridge and a little door to the inside. then the guys burried me in sand. that felt so weird. all this sand covering me. it was kinda...heavy...but a good heavy. u know? lol ya...that was interesting. kyle ryan and i went back to get money to eat, but by the time we were ready to go back to the beach for food...everyone was back at the campsite. so we went anyways. i had nachos. they were good. i licked out the cheese thing after...it was really hot in my mouth! lol then i guess we walked back. and then later that night, we went to the front gate to see if trevor was there yet. he wasn't, but we called him and he was on his way, so we just waited there. it was a little cold, but not too bad. we saw this dead frog on the way and it was really gross it was like...freshly ran over, so it still had colour and its guts were all over the place lol. but ya, when trevor came, we all piled in his van and some guy came out and was like "why are you coming so late?" so trevor was like "i just came from a bacholer party" so then the guy asked if he had any alcohol and trevor said no, but then the guy said "if i search your van will i find any?" and trevor was a little annoyed by this and said "no, because i just told you i didn't have any" so then we thought he was going to search our van, but then he was like "ok i'll take your word for it". then we went back to camp and sat around the fire for a long time. we were kinda loud and the superintendent came over and threatened to kick us out and was all rude about it. that made us a little grumpy at him....the boys wanted to pull all these pranks on him. but thankfully they never did. so...most people went to bed after the superindent talked to us, but trevor, kyle and i just sat by the fire talking til 2. then we went to bed, and i woke up at 9 in the morning...with an insane amount of energy. lol i was ready to go! trevor and i made pancakes for breakfast, they were pretty good, but i don't really like pancakes. then i think we went to the beach again, til lunch, came back, ate lunch, went to the beach, came back for supper. mmm, spagetti! then we went to the lookout tire which was really nice "theballooniscrashing!" lol...most of you will not get that sorry. um..i think we went to the fire for a long time after that...then we ran out of wood. so bethany, the steves, ryan, kyle and i went to the bridge to look at stars, it was nice. i think i saw three shooting stars in the short time i was laying there. the stars are so clear and bright out there it was fabulous. then kyle, ryan and i decided to go back..mostly because we were absolutely FREEZING! so we walked along the road, listening for cars and stuff in case we got caught by that superintendant...but...he should have been sleeping by then. anyways, we got back to the campsite safely and sat around the fire pit with our sleeping bags cuz on the walk there i wasn't tired, i was wide awake and freezing. but as soon as i was warm, just sitting there, i was really tired. so we just sat there hardly talking...then we all fell asleep. ryan and i woke up not too long later, and we were like..ok we'll just go to bed now. so we left kyle at the fire pit and i think he woke up just as i got into my tent lol. that would be weird, waking up alone when 2 other people used to be there. but i dont think he was too tramatized. so i woke up at like 9 again i think. so 4 hours sleep hurray! i had lots of energy again. we packed up and had breakfast, and then headed down to the beach again. most people left after about an hour or so. but kyle ryan steveb and i stayed til 5. lol. and as i said, i did absolutely nothing. i was really tired. then i went home and watched a movie and went to bed. i was greeted with a pleasent surprise though, cuz my parents had taken off the top bunk of my bed finally and they put in a ceiling fan. hurray! and i think we're painting my room this week. woo woo. ok i think this is long enough. catchya later.

Let this be a warning to you!

2005-06-25T18:45:44Z

so i thought you boys would all like to know something when it comes to me. my brother-in-law has got my back. he's pretty much the coolest brother-in-law of all time. scratch that he IS the coolest brother-in-law of all time. so if u mess with me, your messing with him. lol. i think he's training to be a cagefighter or something. or at least he and his track buddies will TAKE YOU OUT! allow me to quote him: "So in conclusion, stop screwing up gianna's brain freak shows. she has enough trouble on her own! and you boys treat her VERY well or else i will destroy you. and it won't be a nice destroying like the kind you see in the movies. no no no. this will be a 'street' destroying. the kind your parents don't let you see." so, next time you think of abducting me and disecting me and screwing up my brain, THINK AGAIN! consider yourself warned! have a nice day! God bless!

rant session

2005-06-21T01:18:42Z

sigh. i'm tired. and i don't feel like studying. boys are so confusing. one day your super friends with nothing to worry about. then someone outside mentions something about the possibility of the guy liking you. that right there seems to be the turning point. cuz then u start getting these ideas that hey, maybe this super friend of yours does like you...and you don't mind. you start wondering what would happen between the two of you if the friendship because a "relationship" and then you start liking them. and then you're always questioning everything they do because you’re not quite SURE if they like you or not. You’re not even sure if you want them to because what if they do and you don’t like them and then they get hurt. You wouldn’t want that to happen. Its all so agrivating. Cuz then u start thinking they should pay more attention to you and when they do you analyze it too much. And if they don’t and they happen to pay attention to other girls…you get jealous or suspicious that maybe they like that other girl. Why must things get so complicated so quickly for no good reason except that someone mentioned in passing that that guy MIGHT like you? And how are they to know anyway? I wish people wouldn’t say things like that cuz it ends up messing with my mind and sometimes even my heart. But obviously its partially my fault as well because I take things to seriously and think about them too much I guess. and then the friendship that was so great is ruined by one comment. plus a girls brain. Arg. Stupid stupid stupid. but hey..maybe its not ruined, maybe i'll get over it speedy. and...ugh. whatever. i'm done. it doesnt matter. Trevor if your reading this…that’s kinda weird…cuz you’re my brother-in-law and brother-in-laws don’t normally know this kinda stuff about their sister-in-laws…but this is my livejournal, and I go on rants, raves, and confusing soliloquies all the time. Yep. Ok I think I’m done for now. I think its easy enough to see that I’m frustrated.

ophelia is dead

2005-06-11T20:52:27Z

There is a willow grows ascaunt the brook
That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream
Therewith fantastic garlands did she make
Of Crow-flowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples
That liberal shepherds give a grosser name,
But our cold maids do dead men's fingers call them
There, on the pendant boughs, her crownet weeds
Clambering to hang, an envious sliver broke
When down her weedy trophies and herself
Fell in the weeping brook, her clothes spread wide
And mermaid-like a while they bore her up:
Which time she chanted snatches of old lauds
As one incapable of her own distress,
Or like a creature native and indued
Unto that element, But long it could not be
Til that her garments, heavy with their drink
Pull'd her from her melodic lay
To muddy death.

Shakespeare cannot just say "Ophelia has drowned. She was by the river making flower garlands. She fell in and did not fight it, but sang parts of old hymns. Soon her dress filled with water and pulled her under" but he has to make it poetic. which i dont mind all that much. it sounds so pretty. thats the soliloquey i have to present for my english class on friday. mhm

Sassafras

2005-06-10T01:50:52Z

We now begin our dissertation regarding the newly formed corporation that will take the world by storm. The benefits to society will be profound! What is this new company we speak of? Well, let me get down to the basics. My cohort, Trevor Dykman, and I have decided that we will put our creative juices and brain powers and experiential knowledge and excessive quirkiness and love of all that is lovely into a venture that will leave all ventures behind and in the dust rolling around like pigs and rodents! Our company, Giannapants & Trevorslacks Co. Ltd. Inc. (pronounced jee-awn-ah pawnts awnd Trevaw Slocks! Coe Lit Ink!) may be the penultimate idea of our young and cheerful lives! What does our company offer? You may ask. We may answer. We ARE the ANSWER. We are the answer to life’s needs for our types of products and services. Our main attractions are sarcastic remarks, ridiculous suggestions, witty verbal sparring, and anything we decide to give you. Okay? That’s what I thought. Speaking of books, we have one. Or two. Or nine. Our most recent publication is entitled, “Chocolate Soup for the Convicted Killer’s Soul” We feel that this will corner a very overlooked niche market that will bring us profits of over 97 million dollars. Its also a must have for this season’s fashion. Critics call it “The gift that keeps on giving!”, “A must have”, “A cheap imitation of a good line of books!”, “Two thumbs up!”, “These two should be kept away from society!”, “Sassafras soup my @*#$%@#”, “Frequently asked questions!”, “My rooster ate my copy, I have no comment”, “Inspiring!”, “Truly, utterly, completely, the biggest piece of crapulence I have ever tasted”, “Truly scrumptious”, “Exude it from your nostrils and mouth and gut!” And now…a testimonial from a real live convicted killer’s soul, Malstrome T. Yavenspot. Give it up for Malstrome! *applause* Yo, yo yo, the big M’s in town!! Way to go big pimpin! Its all yowas daddy! “Thank you thank you thank you. I was a convicted killer. This chocolate soup convicted my SOUL. You see, I’ve never had chocolate soup before this book, and let me tell you, now that I’ve had it, there’s no going back! And if they try to make me go back, them suckers is dead! Oh wait! I mean…love and gentleness rules the day! Thank you for your time.”
What could inspire such a dramatic change in such a calloused and persnickety soul? Only “Chocolate Soup for the Convicted Killer’s Soul!” Get yours now! Need more proof? As a special, one time offer, we’ll give you an excerpt from the book itself. Prepare to be ASTOUNDED! Make sure your sitting down and that you’ve recently visited the lavatory.

A Slice of Life
By Saxo Grammaticus
“Gorethumb walked into the plastic surgeon’s office. He knew he needed a change. Having recently killed a random postage stamp delivery boy, he was feeling quite low. Something only a buttocks enhancement could fix. After having signed in with the nurse he was seated in the waiting room. He hated waiting rooms. They always reminded him of the time he killed the waiting woman of Wongo. He was air guitaring Pearl Jam to pass the time. A young girl, awaiting a new faceyotomy, stared at him curiously. With curiosity. Little did she know, that curiousity…killed…the CAT! Fortunately she was taken in for the faceyotomy immediately. Gorethumb, growing weary of Pearl Jam, looked at the rack of magazines. He hadn’t had breakfast or lunch and was growing quite hungry. He was choking on his own spit. He used the January 1997 issue of Time to dislodge the spittle. The end.”

giaany @ 2005-06-08T21:02:00

2005-06-09T01:14:34Z

And I'm good,good,good to go. I got to get away. Get away from all of my mistakes. So here I sit looking at the traffic lights. The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites. I want to run away I want to ditch my life. Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night. And after all of my alibis desert me, I just want to get by, I don't want nothing to hurt me. I had no idea where my head was at, but if my heart says i'm sorry can we leave it at that. cuz i just want for all of this to end. And i so hate consequences, and running from you is what my best defense is, consequences, God don't make me face up to this, and i so hate consequences, running from you is what my best defense is, cause i know that i let you down. and i dont want to deal with that. It just now hit me this is more than just a set back, and when you spelled it out, well, i guess i didn't get that. and every trace of momentum is gone, and this isn't turning out the way i want. and after all my alibis desert me, i just want to get by i dont want nothing to hurt me, i had no idea where my head was at but if my heart says i'm sorry can we leave it at that, cuz i just want for all of this to end. . . and i spent all last night, tearing down, every stoplight and stop sign in this town, now i think there might be no way to stop me i'll get away despite the fact i'm so weighed down. all of my escapes have been exhausted i thought i had a way, but then i lost it. and my resistance was once much stronger. and i know i can't gon on like this much longer. when i got tired of running from You i stopped right there to catch my breath. there your words they caught my ears, You said "i miss you (gianna) come home." and my sins they watched me leave and in my heart i so believed, the love you felt for me was mine the love i'd wished for all this time. and when the doors were closed, i heard no i told you so's. i said the words i knew You knew. oh God oh God i needed You. God all this time i needed You, i needed You.
-i so hate consequences...relient k

I feel like, i would like to be somewhere else doing something that matters. and i'll admit here, while i sit here, my mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather, what's the purpose? it feels worthless. so unwanted like i lost all my value. i can't find it. not in the least bit, and i'm just scared, so scared that i'll fail you. and sometimes i think that i'm not any good at all. sometimes i wonder why, why i'm even here at all. but then you assure me, i'm a little more than useless, and when i think that i can't do this You promise me that i'll get throught this, and do something right, do something right for once. so i say if i can't do something significant i'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted. and nothing trivial that life could give me will measure up to what might have replaced it. too late look, my date book is packed full of days that were empty and now gone. and i bet that regret will prove to get me to improve in the long run. i'm a little more than useless and when i think that i can't do this you promise me that i'll get through this and do something right, do something right for once. i'm a little more than useless and i never knew i knew this was gonna be the day, gonna be the day, that i would do something right, do something right for once. i noticed, i know this week is a symbol of how i use my time. resent it, i spent it convincign myself the worlds doing just fine without me doing anything of any consequence. without me showing any sign of ever making sense of my time, its my life, and my right to use it like i should, like He would, for the good of everything that i would ever know
-more than useless...relient k

giaany @ 2005-05-20T16:01:00

2005-05-20T20:37:33Z

i felt like writing right now, i'm not sure why. i dont really have anything to say. its weird, cuz often when i dont have anything to say i feel like writing, but when i do have something to say i dont want to write. weird eh? so in english i have a lot of stuff due. i dont feel like doing it though. bleh. i dont like isu's! haha...understatement of the century (a lot of you i'm sure would agree). we have to make annotated bibliographies and stuff ew. at least we werent' required to do the second set of chapternotes..cuz that was mucho crappy. i'm doing really good in english...like better than a lot of people in my class, which is kinda funny cuz i'm not going to university....but kinda bad, cuz..i'm not going to university..and all the other people are. my calculus teacher got really mad at my class yesterday, cuz only three people passed the quiz. and it was a really easy quiz cuz it was just logarithims stuff. (i failed it by the way, apparently i wasn't listening to the lesson, but now that i look back on it, it was really easy). so ya, he was mad. so we had to do this page of solving logarithims otherwise we wouldnt get a test review or exam review. i hope i did it correctly! we have had 4 quizes this week. tuesday,wednesday,thursday,friday. pretty crazy! i think i passed...2 of them. hopefully three. stupid easy questions that i always get wrong haha. but ya...photography is cool. we were doing double exposure...and i made this picture of my friend leaning on her own shoulder! it looks so cool. she's sitting there looking up...and theres a second one of her leaning on the first ones shoulder. i'm really pleased with how it turned out! yay! yep, cool awesome. so thats how school has been going. ohya, we're doing hamlet in english class. i really like that play so far. its by far the best play we've done in school (granted, i only did three, [stupid having to do macbeth twice cuz i changed schools] but still, far superior to romeo and juliet and macbeth. now that would be an interesting play: "Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth"). its so weird when i use capital letters. cuz i never do on here or on msn, unless i'm saying God or Jesus or Christian or You or He (when it refers to God), u get the idea. but ya...starting a sentance with capital letters? almost unheard of! i guess thats just cuz i write how i talk. i dont talk in capital letters. and i only use periods and other various punctuation on here so you won't be terribly confused. actually if i wrote exactly how i talked it would kinda look like this: iamlisteningtotheguesswhorightnowtheyaresoawesomeishouldlistentothemmoreoftenwootforoldschoolbands. ya...cuz i can't say i pause in between each word...it justkinda comes out u know? ok enough of that. i think my school is having some sort of carnival. which is cool..but i'm not sure why its happening. i'm so out of the loop at my school. i never know whats going on haha. well...i guess that's not just at school. i never know what is going on anywhere! i'm just...blonde. yesterday i almost missed my bus stop just cuz i was thinking. (i know, its just so hard for me to think that i need to use all my concentration to do it). but ya, thankfully we were stopped at a stop light, cuz all of a sudden i realized i needed to get off. so i laughed, rang the bell and kinda ran off the bus. it was probably funnier for the people watching me...i can only imagine. i went to convention this past weekend. it was soooo good. it came at the perfect time too. i was pretty upset about something, and bam, i got to go away for the weekend to spend time with the Lord and with good friends. that was exactly what i needed! and now i feel much better. still! yay! i heart chocolate chips. u know what i heart more? JESUS. in fact, i LOVE Jesus. more than anything, ever. mmhmm.

giaany @ 2005-05-10T23:50:00

2005-05-11T03:56:26Z

i'm tired, but i can't sleep. so i'll try and ease my mind on here. yep...too many things on my mind. i hate that. cuz i'm soooo tired, but i can't sleep cuz my mind won't stop thinking. i have so much to do....ugh...and the only time i feel motivated to do it is right when i'm trying to go to sleep. so ya..that's a pickle. i'd like to say i need a vacation..but what i really need is motivation...continuous motivation. so that i actually get what i need to do done! like..get a job...get my license...do my homework...be healthy...get married (lol..jk, not now obviously! definately not ready for that..not like i have any one to marry anyway haha). i need to get closer to God...He's the only one that can bring about real change in my life...He's the only one that can fill me completely. i need to spend more time with Him, i need to trust Him. sigh. i neeeeeeeeed to change things.

giaany @ 2005-05-04T16:55:00

2005-05-04T21:09:42Z

well it seems like i decided to update today. probably because im kinda bored. and also in a writing mood. so this probably won't be very exciting..but we'll see eh? i'm pretty tired at the moment, and i have a headache. which isn't fun. but hey...it happens all the time. but i guess i still dont have to like it. however, i don't have to complain about it all the time. so i won't anymore on this entry :D. i just watched 13 going on 30. i like that movie...but some of it....is simply too painful to watch. i'm like ugh, FASTFORWARD! lol. ok. that was werid. yes. werid. so i had to write an essay yesterday in class. i finished it today in lunch. its mucho crappy. obviously. i actually wrote a good essay earlier this semester...but i had like sooo much time to write it. and this one...was pretty much, zero time. cuz we didnt' know what we had to write about before we got there. so ya i was freaking out about that. but i trusted God would help me, and He did. i'm not going to say i got the best mark in the world, cuz it probably won't be that good. but God gave me clear thoughts and helped me write everything in enough time. so thanks to Jesus!

wow. its 5:07 and my eyes want to close. maybe i should sleep sometimes eh? naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. sleep is for those who want to stay healthy! health...not for me! oh dear. this entry is pretty dumb. gianna out.